Break Down
by ConstanceBeauchamp
Summary: Connie had her whole life ahead of her. But when a member of her staff dies in a crash she also is in, she automatically blames herself. This is when the grief get too much and she begins to lose it. But will Connie be able to get over the pain and carry on with her old life and be able to get to know her little daughter Grace properly. Has been moved from the crossover!
1. Chapter 1- The Break Down

**All comment noted, also I will enjoy any help given, don't know if this is going to be a one shot or not, it will matter if people like and can give me ideas. **

**Enjoy,**

**Constance. X**

The Break Down.

It was half way through her shift and Connie couldn't cope anymore. All she could think about was where her next drink was coming from. Ever since Jeff's death she was breaking down. Everyone was going to her for comfort but leaving with more stress. Connie was blaming herself for what happen to Jeff.

She walked to her office and closing the door behind her. Leaning against it to hold her weak and fragile body. She pushed away from the door, to her desk. And went into the draw. That's where she found a bottle of vodka. She took it out the draw unscrewed the lid and took a big gulp, she put the bottle to her lips again. This was the only way she could get through the day. By not remembering it. She looked down at the bottle. What was she doing...? She threw the bottle and its contents against the wall of her office. And screamed. Running across the room and sitting on the floor against a bookshelf with her arms around her legs. Crying, no screaming. She had finally broken. Hit rock bottom and nothing could make her better. She hated this, her life. Everything about it. Everyone she loved was either dead or didn't want her. Everyone she knew hated her. No one was there for her. But she had to be there for them.

She screamed again. Hitting the floor. Tears and make up streaming down her bright freckled pink cheeks. She doesn't realize that there is a knock on the door. She's still crying. Zoe enters the room and looks at the emotional wreck that is in the corner of the office. Zoe runs over to Connie.

"Connie, are you a right."

Connie doesn't say a word. Still staring at the floor with tears in her eyes

"CONNIE LOOK AT ME. Come on. You need to look at me."

Connie slowly looks up. She wipes her eyes.

"w-what are you doing here"

"You called, so I came. What's wrong?"

Connie looked away again. She didn't want Zoe to see her not in control. Not able to cope.

"Please Connie. Tell me what's happened."

"J-Jeff died, it was all my fault. I shouldn't of t-taken them out of the hospital. I killed Jeff. I was m..."

Connie broke down again. She didn't know what to do. Everything was a mess and Connie thought it was all her fault.

"Oh Connie. None of this is your fault. Come on. You need to go home."

"No please. I don't want to go home. I don't like it there. I want to stay here. I will be fine." She tried to smile but the emotion crept over her again and she began to cry again.

"No you're going, come on." Connie shook her head. She didn't want to go home." we are not going to your, you're coming back with me. Away from this lot. Come on, anyway you can't drive. "Zoe says looking at the smashed bottle on the ground at the other side of the room, she could smell the alcohol on her breath. "You get your coat and bag, and I will clean up that mess." Connie wipes her eyes again, as well as wiping the makeup which had dripped down her face.

They left the office and then the hospital without anyone seeing them. Got into Zoe's car before driving off to Zoe's house.

Zoe put her key into the front door to her house. Turning. And then entering the house, closely followed by Connie. Zoe went through to the living room where a large open fire place was. She when over and lit it before going back to Connie who was still at the front door. Zoe pulled Connie's coat off her back and hung it up.

Do you want a drink, something to eat?" Zoe questioned, not quite knowing what to say to her ex-boss.

"No thank you. Could I just go to sleep? I'm awfully tired." Connie said with a weak smile.

"Sure" Zoe showed her to a spare room which was all made up for if she ever got unexpected guested.

After making sure Connie was alright Zoe went back downstairs to the kitchen. To make herself a late lunch. She sat in the living room and tucked into a pasta salad. Which she had left a portion for Connie, if she decided to eat. All of a sudden a loud scream can from upstairs. Zoe put down her food and ran up the stair to where she heard another cry of distress, it was coming from the spare room where Connie was. Zoe opened the door to see a sleeping Connie. But Connie was having nightmares. Her hands were over her face and she was crying and screaming her heart out. Zoe moved over to her and slowly pulled Connie's hands away from face. Trying to wake her up. She finally woke up and Zoe pulled her into her own arms. Connie letting out a confused cry. After a while Connie settled and Zoe began to let go.

"No please don't go, stay with me. Please." Connie still wasn't sure what was happening but knew she didn't want to be alone.

Zoe let Connie fall back into the sheets where Zoe joined her. Connie tightly holding on the Zoe like she was the only thing stopping her from going insane.

A couple of hours later and both women were fast asleep. Connie started to stir, slowly opening one eye. She didn't recognize where she was. Until she saw who she had in her grasp. Zoe. But she didn't let go. No she got closer. She was still frightened. Connie fell asleep again. This time less scared.

Ten minutes later Zoe woke. And looked down at the fragile body that was Connie. She didn't know if she should leave Connie or stay till she was awake and okay. She didn't know why Connie was like this or why she was letting people in. All she knew was Connie needed her and she was going to help until she needed her no more.

It was eight o'clock in the evening and Zoe was awake when Connie began to stir again. Connie looked up at Zoe. Zoe was looking down at her and smiled. Connie smiled back, then began to move. She was feeling a lot less tired, but now hungry. She didn't want to say anything though, she already thought Zoe had done enough. She sat up and let Zoe sit up as well.

"I should go, you don't need to worry, and I will be fine. Anyway, I need to get home. I will get out of you way. Thank you." Connie said, she was still completely scared but didn't want Zoe to worry. Nobody needed to.

"You wouldn't be in the way. You don't have to go. There is some food for you in the fridge. I made it before I came upstairs. At least come and eat before you go." Zoe needed to know Connie ate something, Connie was looking very thin and she could tell she hadn't been eating.

Connie nodded. They walked downstairs to where Zoe told her to stay in the living room while she got her own food which had been left and then went into the kitchen to get some for Connie. While they ate everything was silent except from the sound of the TV which had been left on from earlier.


	2. Chapter 2- Home Sweet Home

**So this is a new chapter, I have made it so each chapter could be the end chapter. These 2 chapters are the only chapters I have written so the next one might take a bit longer to upload, sorry. **

**anyway, I hope you enjoy. **

**reviews are very welcome, thanks to the Holby/Casualty gang, wouldn't be able to write without the wonderful writers there. characters not mine, but all mistakes are. x**

**sorry its not that long.**

**Constance. x**

Home sweet home.

It was the day after Connie's break down, and she was still feeling rough.

Connie was sat in her office, doing some admin'. She had trapped herself out from the rest of the world.

Connie couldn't help herself from getting distracted. Every night she was getting the same dream. It never changed. It was the argument between her and Grace, the moment when her little Gracie leaves with him. Sam, Grace's dad. This was truly affecting her. She couldn't think straight. She needed her baby back.

Her phone begins to ring. She leaves it. Until it stops. She carries on with her work. The phone begins again. This time she answers.

"Connie Beauchamp" she says.

"Connie, its Sam. I'm coming back to England. And so is Grace. Course she is. Anyway. I was wondering... What I was going to ask is. Can we stay with you for a while?"

"Umm. Yeah. Course. Always. When are you coming? I need to tidy."

"Actually, um tomorrow. I need to get away from the states and Gracie wants to be back in England with you."

"Great. What time will you be arriving. I can come and pick you up."

"Eight in the evening. And thanks Connie."

"Okay I will see you tomorrow. Bye"

She hung up.

Luckily she had tomorrow off. Zoe had persuaded her to take some time. But she had refused to not come in today as it was her admin day. Now though she was happy about the time she had. She would be able to tidy and then she could spend some time with Grace and her father.

It was quarter to eight and Connie was waiting inside the airport waiting for her little girl to come home. Sam had said they would be back at eight so Connie had made sure she was here early just in case they arrived earlier.

Half past eight had come and Connie and the others were back in the car setting off back home.

"Home sweet home" Sam whispered.

Opening the door to the house, Connie began to panic a little. It was starting to feel a little bit more real now. They all sat down except Connie who was crashing around in the kitchen. Sam went to see if Connie was alright. She was facing the wall, cleaning.

"Connie, you are okay. Calm down, Grace is home. I'm here if that helps any. Just go sit down and cuddle up with your daughter." Sam said

Connie turned, eyes red and her face all puffy.

Sam walk up to her and took her in his arms.

"Come on Connie, we're home." She smiled at what he said. She needed grace, she needed him. She needed love!

Connie and Sam walk into the living room together, Sam sits in a chair and Connie snuggles up with Grace. That was the first time in months, mother and daughter had shown any affection to each other.

That night they spent it in silence, until they went off their separate ways to the bedrooms.

Connie had finally got her family back. All she needed to do now was to make the bond stronger between her and Sam.


	3. Chapter 3- New Day

**Hey, sorry it has taken me so long to write but my mind when blank and then when I did get something on the page I forgot to save it. Hopefully if people enjoy this I will be able to update on time. which is normally a Thursday.**

**Anyway hope you enjoy and please review because i love to read your comments. also sorry if it is a bit rushed, as usual all characters are not mine but mistakes are.**

**Constance. X**

* * *

New Day

Days has passed and Sam had found a flat, Connie had found a local school for Grace to go too. And now Connie was back at work.

Ever since Sam's visit Connie had let go, she had become a lot nicer at work, and people started to notice something was different. Everything was different for Connie and she liked it.

Once again Connie was stuck in her office, her mood might have changed, but the work load hadn't. She seemed to get more work now than she did before. Connie had not really wanted the job in the first place, well she did but not the way she got it. She did want to be friends with Zoe, and after everything she did for her, she automatically felt bad. She had let go much that night. She needed to thank Zoe for everything she had done for her but she didn't quite know how.

Knock. Three small knocks on the door.

"Come in" Connie shouted.

The door swung open and a small head popped around the corner, it was Cal.

"Cal, what can I do for you?"

"Mrs. Beauchamp, what are you doing tonight? There is ten minutes till the end of our shift and I wondered if you wanted to go out. I mean if you're not busy."

"Cal please, why are you doing this. You don't like me. I'm some old woman who is work obsessed. Really I am nearly twice your age. Why would you want to go out with me, on any night? Anyway, I have to be with my daughter tonight. Sorry."

"I'm thirty three, you are not twice my age. And fine not tonight, but I will get you to come out one night. Even if it kills me. I'm serious Connie."

"Please, it's Mrs. Beauchamp. And good luck with that. I need to go. I have to pick up Grace. Goodbye Dr. Knight. Please get out of my office."

Cal left, he had been defeated this time, but he would try until he had a date with the beautiful Connie Beauchamp.

Connie had left to get Grace, while she was driving to Graces new school, her mind was on Cal. All she could think about was him. She liked him yes but did she want to go out with someone. Surly all she needed was Grace.

She pulled up at the school, waited and thought.

The passenger door opened. And Grace jumped into the car.

"You alright mum, you look sad."

"I'm fine baby, just thinking. How was your day?"

She pulled off and began to drive home while listening to her daughter talking about her day. She loved Grace with all her heart, and didn't want anything to come between them both, no matter if it made her miserable. Grace was her life and no man could come between then.

They arrived at the house, they parked up and entered the house.

The whole evening was filled with laughing and talking. Cuddling up on the sofa watching films until it was time for bed. Connie had a lot to think about, and Cal just happened to be one of them.

* * *

**please tell me if you think Connie and Cal should be together and if not could you give me some ideas. thanks. xx**


	4. Chapter 4 - Wanted

**This is for Ebony as she is the one who has got me writing again!**

Connie had spent the last three days trapped in her office, she had to get all the admin out the way. Eventually Connie finished, she still had four hours left before she could go home to Grace and settle down with a nice large mug of coffee. Connie was logging off her computer when there was a knock at the door. She let out a sign.

"Come in"

The door swung open, and a figure came into sight. Rita. 'Just what I need' Connie thought.

"How can I help you, Nurse Freeman? I was just about to go on a break"

Rita walked forward, she didn't blink she just looked straight at Connie.

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you, and that your lips are beautiful. And that I want you."

"Rita what are you trying to tell me… I um… why"

"I really want you Connie. Like really want you" she walked forward so she was inches away from Connie. Connie could smell her perfume, her breathing got heavy but she couldn't move. She was stuck to the ground. Rita started to move Connie back to her desk. Her bum hit the ledge. Rita looked at her but Connie looking at the floor avoiding her face. "Connie, look at me, please. I want you look at you, I want to see your beautiful eye." Connie looked up and for a second she glared into Rita's orbs, before she could do anything else Rita's lips were on Connie's. She was a little disappointed that Connie didn't participate but she was in shock she had no idea Rita felt this way. Rita pulled away. And reconnected her eyes with Connie's. She couldn't tell if the look on her face was fear or enjoyment but whatever it was Rita was loving it. Rita placed her hand on the side of Connie's cheek, stoking her fingers across her lips. Her other hand against her hip. Rita pulled in again joining their lips again, this time Connie moved along with her. Rita's hand started to travel up Connie's body, under her shirt and to her breast. Connie moved her hands to her butt. They broke from the kiss. Their faces flustered and both out of breath.

"Do you want to come to my house after work? Grace is at her dads tonight. So it would just me us". Connie whispered in Rita's ear.

"Sure, when do you finish."

"Same time as you. Meet back her when you're done." Connie smiled as Rita went back to work.

End of shift came and Connie was so excited. She hadn't felt this way for years. Her heart was beating ten times faster than normal, what was wrong with her. One minute Cal was flirting with her and the next Rita had come into her office declaring she wanted her. Connie's head was all over the place. She had told Rita to come round but did she really want this or was it just a heat of the moment thing. Either way Rita was coming to hers, and she had no idea what she was gonna do. Could she tell Rita she wasn't feeling very well, or that her plans had changed? She could leave before Rita had the chance to enter her office. No she would see what was going to happen and work from there. She knew that she would be safe with Rita and nothing could go wrong.

Right?

**Hi, I know it's been so long since I last updated but i had really bad writers block and then when i did get something down my laptop reset itself so I ended up giving up. So this is probably really bad but I am still stuck for ideas. Its also really short. Please give me some idea as i wont be able to carry on. I have a small idea but its not set in stone. if all goes to plan I should be back to writing as normal.**


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